Friday, 13 September 2019

My last Summer before the beginning of my Future

Somehow we are in September, already? I finished college at the beginning of June, leaving me with a three and a half month summer. Most people would choose to use this gap of time to travel, to embrace the good weather and to make incredible memories but for me, this summer was all about resting and ensuring that even without a structure, I can still maintain a stable state of mind. This summer has been strange, I haven't had an educational summer break in years and I am preparing for my life to change in a few different aspects; I am starting my career and university degree, something that I have only dreamt of, some of my relatives are expecting babies which is incredibly exciting and I am making the biggest step in my life yet of moving on, past my history and own personal struggles. 

There isn't too much that I can say that I have achieved or accomplished this summer but I have still been entirely busy. Preparing for university is stressful (and I'm not even having to move house), I have spent all summer filling in form after form, attending meetings, filling out more paperwork and spending a tonne of money on university, before even starting. I never even thought that there would be much more preparing to do throughout the summer as I had already applied to university through UCAS, I had already sorted out student finance, I had attended my interviews but oh boy was I wrong, those were the 'simple' things that needed to be organised. I didn't realise how much time, energy and 'faffing around' went into getting a DBS check, applying for extra support incase I need it, organising appointments and filling in forms for a health check, applying to various national and university nursing organisations, setting up my university online portal, consenting to this, that and everything else, opening a student bank account and even filling in forms for placements. It has been hectic to say the least and just when I think that I am finished, there's something else that I have forgotten to do. Having said that, I think I am almost there (thankfully).

Alongside this, I have been working part-time, trying to sort other family issues out, trying to spend as much time as I possibly can with my family and boyfriend before my time is even more stretched and ultimately distracting myself from the reality and anxiety that I am actually going to university.. in just over a week.

I have also had some lovely times, I have had countless family BBQ's which have been lovely, I went to a wedding which was exciting and I have also gotten back into watching TV series which is something that I rarely do. I have gotten so much into watching series that I have spent the summer rewatching the first six seasons of dance moms, thirteen reasons why and a few other mini series. 

I aim to continue to update my blog throughout my degree when I can but please be patient as I have no idea how busy I will be, but this is definitely not the end of my blog and I hope that you can all come on my journey with me.

Thank-you for reading, Tay x

Wednesday, 11 September 2019

Why we should be Preventing Suicide Every Day

I am sure that many of you are aware that World Suicide Prevention Day for this year took place on Tuesday 10th September. It is no secret that mental health conditions are on the rise due to many different factors in todays society but there is more awareness surrounding mental health than ever before and although they may be underfunded and staffed, there is more mental healthcare services available. However, Suicide rates are also on the rise, especially within the UK and I think we need to be talking about this topic everyday, not just on one specific day of the year which is why I purposely haven't published this post on World Suicide Prevention Day. 

According to Samaritans, in the UK there were 6859 deaths by Suicide throughout 2018 and the number of deaths from Suicide increased by 11.8% over one year. Within the UK, men are three times more likely to die by Suicide than woman are and despite the highest number of Suicides being of men aged between 45 and 49, Suicide rates for individuals under the age of 25 has increased by 23.7%, again over the course of a year. These statistics are terrifying, there are so many people not only across the country but across the entire world that are being failed by healthcare systems, that are too afraid to speak out and ultimately that feels that there is no other way out than by taking their own lives. 

I find it frustrating that deaths by Suicide are on the increase yet nobody seems to be trying to do anything about it apart from charities. Surely the government should be able to see that this is a growing problem and that our country is in the middle of a massive mental health crisis but apparently they have better things to spend their money on. As somebody who has been suicidal and has attempted to take their own life numerous times, I can't help but empathise with these poor individuals who have lost their lives but on the other hand, I am happy that they finally found their peace and that they no longer have to suffer but I also know the impact that Suicide has on other people and I have seen how it can tear entire families apart and ruin loved ones. I think one of the key messages that needs to be promoted is that if somebody ends their life by Suicide, they were not being selfish because when you're in a suicidal frame of mind, you often feel that your loved ones would be better off without you and that you'd no longer be a burden to them.

Don't get me wrong, World Suicide Prevention Day is incredible, it gets people talking about the subject and every year I feel that the world is becoming more understanding but I hate how on that one specific day of the year, everyone is sharing advice, facts, statistics and personal stories yet the following day it is almost forgotten, as though it never happened. It is like people feel that it is ok to speak up on an international prevention day but not at any other time when in reality, nobody should ever feel ashamed to speak up. I know that it can be so difficult to speak up, but mental health conditions are so common nowadays and mental health is everywhere, although there is still some stigma surrounding the subject, it is nothing like how it used to be and there is always a chance that your own advice or personal story could help or even save the life of somebody else.

For those who suffer from mental health conditions, there is always ups and downs and sometimes we have more manageable 'downs' and other times we feel that we have hit absolute rock bottom, but whenever I feel that I am at rock bottom I remind myself that I have been here before, that I know it can't last forever and that I have survived it before so I can survive it again. Obviously, this doesn't always work because I cannot explain how crippling and destroying mental illness can be and often, taking your own life does feel like the only option but if you make that decision then how are you going to know that things could have gotten better? 

We need to continue to talk and continue to allow people to feel that it is ok to share their problems with others, they say that a problem shared is a problem halved no matter how guilty it may make you feel. Let's continue to talk about suicide prevention throughout the entire year instead of just on one day, we never know who may need to see it and who could benefit from it. 

If any of you ever feel that there is no other way out, then please speak out, it is so important and you never know what may be right around the corner. You can talk to anybody, it could be a relative, a friend, a stranger or even a healthcare professional just please don't suffer alone. My contact details are always available on my blog if anybody ever needs a chat.

Keep safe, continue to speak up and remember that bad days can't last forever.

Useful contacts for within the UK:

Samaritans: Tel: 116123 (Around the clock), Website:
Mind: Tel: 03001233393, Website:
Papyrus: Tel: 08000684141, Website:
CALM: Tel: 0800585858, Website:
ChildLiine: Tel: 08001111, Website:
Kooth: Website:
YoungMinds: Tel: 08088025544, Website: young
The Mix: Tel: 08088084994, Website:
Maytree: Tel: 02072637070, Website:

Thank-you for reading, Tay x

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