- This is so much effort just for an hour long appointment.
- I want to go back to bed.
- Lets see how many people I bump into today.
- Nope, don't even think about that.
- I look dreadful.
- Are they even going to recognise me with no make-up on?
- Maybe if I had made more of an effort, they'd believe that I am feeling fine.
- I know that I have done this one-hundred times before, but what do I say at reception?
- I wonder if I have had over one-hundred appointments?
- You've got this.
- I know exactly what I am going to say.
- Do I say it?
- How do I say it?
- I didn't say it.
- This happens every single time.
- Whats the worst that could happen?
- I said something else that I can't even remember saying.
- Try again.
- OK, I should not have said that
- In fact, I defiantly should not have said that.
- Am I making too much eye contact?
- Don't snap, she probably didn't mean to say that or if she did, not that harshly.
- Keep your cool, everything is going wonderful. Keep your cool.
- I should have gone shopping.
- I could have done so much today if I didn't come here.
- Then again, I wouldn't have actually done anything.
- I don't know what to have for dinner.
- Wheres the clock? I can't find the clock.
- How on earth is there not a clock?
- Please don't call my parents.
- My hands are so clammy.
- How disgusting.
- Oh no, here comes all the questions.
- Stop with the questions.
- And here we go again.
- Oh and the threats, lovely.
- Don't give it away that you want to rip her eyeballs out.
- Or even better, my own.
- Surely this appointment is almost over.
- This is pointless.
- Does she actually ever listen to what I say?
- No, I do not want to change medication.
- I wonder what my cat is currently doing.
- I'm too tired for an intense conversation.
- Do not take it for granted, some people don't even have this.
- I kind of envy them in a way though.
- I'm going to need a shot after this.
- Actually, make it ten.
- I wonder what my therapist is like drunk.
- Imagine bumping into them on a night out.
- Nope, changed my mind, lets not.
- I can't remember what she just said.
- Well, this is awkward.
- For the thousandth time, I do not know why I feel like this.
- Do you really think that within a week I will have recovered, got married, had children and owned a house?
- These questions are doing more harm than anything.
- I need a cigarette.
- I have been in this appointment for thirty minutes and I am still anxious.
- Did what I say sound stupid? Or attention seeking?
- I really should justify what I mean.
- I can't believe I have just spent five minutes trying to back up my point.
- I feel like I am wasting her time as I actually feel fine today.
- Why wont you discharge me?
- Don't tell her that you hate her just because you can't get your own way.
- I should not have just told her that I hate her.
- I feel really bad.
- I don't even think that I am worthy of the help so what is the point.
- Why isn't therapy working?
- Why do I get the blame for it not working.
- I am complying, if I wasn't, I wouldn't be sat here.
- I am trying to open up but you don't understand what I am saying.
- Do not get frustrated.
- You make this sound so easy.
- I think you've forgotten that you can't recover over night.
- Does she think that I am crazy?
- I know I technically am but does she think I have full on lost my mind?
- How do you even do this job without crying with the clients?
- This is getting deep.
- And personal, too personal.
- Do not cry.
- Please do not cry.
- If this all ends badly, i'll just do some retail therapy afterwards.
- Wait, the city will be packed, maybe I wont.
- I'd much rather be in bed.
- You're meant to be helping me.
- You're meant to have the answers, I wouldn't be here if I had them.
- What month are we in.
- What's the day, let alone the month.
- You have a boyfriend? Why didn't you tell me?
- Oh yeah, everybody has a personal life.
- But even so, how rude.
- How can you expect me to trust me when I know nothing about you?
- That's a bit of an exaggeration, I actually know probably too much about you.
- I can thank my inner stalker skills for that.
- If I had known you were going to leave the room this many times, I would have brought a book.
- Stop being stressed, she's just trying to help.
- You want to refer me to somebody else?
- That's fine, pass me along once again.
- Do you really care though?
- I mean, this is just your job.
- Do not say that out loud.
- I hope I didn't say that out loud.
- I feel dreadful.
- I feel beyond dreadful and you're talking about trying mindfulness.
- Don't you think I have tried that before.
- It's been drilled into me for the past five years of my life.
- Give her a chance.
- Instead of wasting time with these questions, why don't you just read through my notes.
- Actually, I can understand why you haven't, they must be rather lengthy now.
- I want to see my notes.
- Just to be nosy and to see if I agree with what they're saying.
- They're technically talking about me, behind my back.
- How rude.
- I can't complain, I do the same to them.
- Saying that, I can't wait to text my friend after this appointment.
- This appointment was so pointless that I want to cry.
- Don't cry.
- Yes, seeing you in two weeks is fine because I have no other choice.
- Why am I attached.
- Why am I always attached.
- To be fair, this appointment is actually quite helpful.
- I just wish I could stop thinking.
- I feel bad about being so harsh.
- The care I receive is actually quite good.
- I wonder how much longer before she breaks the news that she is leaving.
- They all do eventually.
- Even when they promise not to.
- Maybe not promise, but they say they have no intention of leaving.
- I suppose at the time they didn't.
- I'll let them off.
- I am so dehydrated.
- I wonder if she is thinking the same about me?
- She must be.
- As they say, the imagination is wild.
- I am pretty sure that I have a numb bum.
- Oh dear, shes asking about incidents.
- Be honest.
- I regret being honest already.
- You say you're concerned, but are you actually?
- Possibly, why must you be so difficult to work out.
- I am hungry.
- I hope my stomach doesn't start to make odd noises.
- I actually really like this new case manager.
- You're actually funny.
- Although, I am pretty sure half of the things you say aren't allowed.
- Oh well, trust is a big thing.
- She's got the diary out, it must be time to finish.
- I always find it so odd giving you a hug, you're so tall.
- Not that she should be giving me a hug anyway.
- That appointment wasn't too bad.
- Why did I dread it?
- Why is overthinking a thing?
- I must admit, I do feel a bit better.
- I hope my make-up still looks alright.
- And that's that over for another fortnight.
- Is it bad that I can't be bothered to travel home?
- Probably, I did have the option of her coming to my house.
- I would defiantly rather have to do the travelling.
- Maybe this worker genuinely does care.
- Who knows?
- I now don't have to dread this for another two weeks.
- I am so relieved.
- That somehow did go better than expected.
- I can't actually remember most of what was said.
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I hope that you enjoyed this post and can somewhat relate. Feel free to share or leave your reoccurring thoughts that always pop up during a session.
(For photo credits, please click here)
Thank-you for reading, Tay x
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