164 Thoughts that Everybody has had During Therapy.

So, those of you who have been, or in fact are in some sort of therapy/counselling for mental health will know the exact feeling of dread when you wake up, look in your calendar and notice that you have an appointment in the afternoon or maybe even within the upcoming few days. After asking for some feedback from friends, I thought it would be quite fun to write up a post of thoughts that most people have during therapy sessions; from travelling to therapy to the minute that the session is over.

1. This is so much effort just for an hour long appointment.
2. I want to go back to bed.
3. Lets see how many people I bump into today.
4. Nope, don't even think about that.
5. I look dreadful.
6. Are they even going to recognise me with no make-up on?
7. Maybe if I had made more of an effort, they'd believe that I am feeling fine.
8. I know that I have done this one-hundred times before, but what do I say at reception?
9. I wonder if I have had over one-hundred appointments?
10. You've got this.
11. I know exactly what I am going to say.
12. Do I say it?
13. How do I say it?
14. I didn't say it.
15. This happens every single time.
16. Whats the worst that could happen?
17. I said something else that I can't even remember saying.
18. Try again.
19. OK, I should not have said that
20. In fact, I defiantly should not have said that.
21. Am I making too much eye contact?
22. Don't snap, she probably didn't mean to say that or if she did, not that harshly.
23. Keep your cool, everything is going wonderful. Keep your cool.
24. I should have gone shopping.
25. I could have done so much today if I didn't come here.
26. Then again, I wouldn't have actually done anything.
27. I don't know what to have for dinner.
28. Wheres the clock? I can't find the clock.
29. How on earth is there not a clock?
30. Please don't call my parents.
31. My hands are so clammy.
32. How disgusting.
33. Oh no, here comes all the questions.
34. Stop with the questions.
35. And here we go again.
36. Oh and the threats, lovely.
37. Don't give it away that you want to rip her eyeballs out.
38. Or even better, my own.
39. Surely this appointment is almost over.
40. This is pointless.
41. Does she actually ever listen to what I say?
42. No, I do not want to change medication.
43. I wonder what my cat is currently doing.
44. I'm too tired for an intense conversation.
45. Do not take it for granted, some people don't even have this.
46. I kind of envy them in a way though.
47. I'm going to need a shot after this.
48. Actually, make it ten.
49. I wonder what my therapist is like drunk.
50. Imagine bumping into them on a night out.
51. Nope, changed my mind, lets not.
52. I can't remember what she just said.
53. Well, this is awkward.
54. For the thousandth time, I do not know why I feel like this.
55. Do you really think that within a week I will have recovered, got married, had children and owned a house?
56. These questions are doing more harm than anything.
57. I need a cigarette.
58. I have been in this appointment for thirty minutes and I am still anxious.
59. Did what I say sound stupid? Or attention seeking?
60. I really should justify what I mean.
61. I can't believe I have just spent five minutes trying to back up my point.
62. I feel like I am wasting her time as I actually feel fine today.
63. Why wont you discharge me?
64. Don't tell her that you hate her just because you can't get your own way.
65. I should not have just told her that I hate her.
66. I feel really bad.
67. I don't even think that I am worthy of the help so what is the point.
68. Why isn't therapy working?
69. Why do I get the blame for it not working.
70. I am complying, if I wasn't, I wouldn't be sat here.
71. I am trying to open up but you don't understand what I am saying.
72. Do not get frustrated.
73. You make this sound so easy.
74. I think you've forgotten that you can't recover over night.
75. Does she think that I am crazy?
76. I know I technically am but does she think I have full on lost my mind?
77. How do you even do this job without crying with the clients?
78. This is getting deep.
79. And personal, too personal.
80. Do not cry.
81. Please do not cry.
82. If this all ends badly, i'll just do some retail therapy afterwards.
83. Wait, the city will be packed, maybe I wont.
84. I'd much rather be in bed.
85. You're meant to be helping me.
86. You're meant to have the answers, I wouldn't be here if I had them.
87. What month are we in.
88. What's the day, let alone the month.
89. You have a boyfriend? Why didn't you tell me?
90. Oh yeah, everybody has a personal life.
91. But even so, how rude.
92. How can you expect me to trust me when I know nothing about you?
93. That's a bit of an exaggeration, I actually know probably too much about you.
94. I can thank my inner stalker skills for that.
95. If I had known you were going to leave the room this many times, I would have brought a book.
96. Stop being stressed, she's just trying to help.
97. You want to refer me to somebody else?
98. That's fine, pass me along once again.
99. Do you really care though?
100. I mean, this is just your job.
101. Do not say that out loud.
102. I hope I didn't say that out loud.
103. I feel dreadful.
104. I feel beyond dreadful and you're talking about trying mindfulness.
105. Don't you think I have tried that before.
106. It's been drilled into me for the past five years of my life.
107. Give her a chance.
108. Instead of wasting time with these questions, why don't you just read through my notes.
109. Actually, I can understand why you haven't, they must be rather lengthy now.
110. I want to see my notes.
111. Just to be nosy and to see if I agree with what they're saying.
112. They're technically talking about me, behind my back.
113. How rude.
114. I can't complain, I do the same to them.
115. Saying that, I can't wait to text my friend after this appointment.
116. This appointment was so pointless that I want to cry.
117. Don't cry.
118. Yes, seeing you in two weeks is fine because I have no other choice.
     
119. Why am I attached.
120. Why am I always attached.
121. To be fair, this appointment is actually quite helpful.
122. I just wish I could stop thinking.
123. I feel bad about being so harsh.
124. The care I receive is actually quite good.
125. I wonder how much longer before she breaks the news that she is leaving.
126. They all do eventually.
127. Even when they promise not to.
128. Maybe not promise, but they say they have no intention of leaving.
129. I suppose at the time they didn't.
130. I'll let them off.
131. I am so dehydrated.
132. I wonder if she is thinking the same about me?
133. She must be.
134. As they say, the imagination is wild.
135. I am pretty sure that I have a numb bum.
136. Oh dear, shes asking about incidents.
137. Be honest.
138. I regret being honest already.
139. You say you're concerned, but are you actually?
140. Possibly, why must you be so difficult to work out.
141. I am hungry.
142. I hope my stomach doesn't start to make odd noises.
143. I actually really like this new case manager.
144. You're actually funny.
145. Although, I am pretty sure half of the things you say aren't allowed.
146. Oh well, trust is a big thing.
147. She's got the diary out, it must be time to finish.
148. I always find it so odd giving you a hug, you're so tall.
149. Not that she should be giving me a hug anyway.
150. That appointment wasn't too bad.
151. Why did I dread it?
152. Why is overthinking a thing?
153. I must admit, I do feel a bit better.
154. I hope my make-up still looks alright.
155. And that's that over for another fortnight.
156. Is it bad that I can't be bothered to travel home?
157. Probably, I did have the option of her coming to my house.
158. I would defiantly rather have to do the travelling.
159. Maybe this worker genuinely does care.
160. Who knows?
161. I now don't have to dread this for another two weeks.
162. I am so relieved. 
163. That somehow did go better than expected.
164. I can't actually remember most of what was said.

I hope that you enjoyed this post and can somewhat relate. Feel free to share or leave your reoccurring thoughts that always pop up during a session.

(For photo credits, please click here)

Thank-you for reading, Tay x