One step forward, Two steps back

There is nothing more frustrating than feeling that things may finally be looking up for you, for them to come crashing down, almost suddenly. I know why I am experiencing bad days at the present, I know what is stressing me out and what is causing me to feel bad but there is nothing I can do about it, especially when half of the stressful situations I'm experiencing are entirely out of my control. I am a worrier, I worry about everything whether the situation directly affects me or not, I care about people too much and I probably care about others wellbeing more than my own most of the time, but as frustrating as it can feel, I must remember that bad days are ok and are entirely normal.

I know that I need structure within my life in order to maintain a positive and healthy mindset, but that isn't always possible. I am currently halfway through a summer break after finishing college and before starting University. I try to work as much as I can to maintain some sort of structure, but I can't work constantly and I'm no longer used to having so much spare time, which gives me more time to think. 

Staying busy is essential because despite having a mental relapse, I don't want to let things escalate to the point of relapsing into old habits that I had. I worked so hard to stop those habits and I do not want to put myself through it again, I don't want to allow my mindset to escalate so quickly and badly that these become a part of my life again and I feel that recognising this is an essential part of preventing it from happening again. 

I know that once I have overcome the initial anxiety of starting University and have settled in, that I will start to feel better but it is filling the gap in-between which I am finding difficult. I know that I can get through this, I have done it numerous times before but it has been a while since I have sunk this deep into sadness that I am struggling to accept that this is my life again and that I am having to take difficult steps to ensure that I will be ok again. 

It does feel as though I have taken one step forward and two steps back, but that is life and not everything is a breeze, there are obstacles that need to be tackled and worries that must be overcome. I will get there eventually, I am sure I will, it'll just be a bit rocky for now. I know that I have overcome worse in the past, so I am sure that I am strong enough to do it again, I just don't want to, it's completely draining, but what other choice do I have?

Thank-you for reading, Tay x

Everything I look forward to learning as a Student Mental Health Nurse

I have just over a month to go until I start my degree in Mental Health Nursing and I am feeling all of the emotions. Part of me is looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life and I can't wait to start my career but the other part of me is nervous and I can't help but question if I am making the right choice, if this is definitely what I want to do and if I will even be able to do it. Having said that, there is so much that I can't wait to start learning about and I feel that after many years within mental health services, I may have a slight head start. 

It's no secret that Mental Health Conditions are on the rise and although I don't expect university to be easy, I think that Mental Health Nurses are in desperate need and therefore, I don't think I could have picked a more rewarding career, suitable for me. Despite going through rounds of treatment and therapies myself, I don't know the science behind them or the structure of them and I am excited to learn about the different types of therapies, why and how they work and what conditions each therapy is most suited to.

Secondly, I look forward to having the opportunity of working in different settings because although Mental Health Nursing is predominantly focussed on Mental Health Conditions, there are so many different aspects and settings that I could be placed in, whether they be an adolescent community service, an inpatient unit for dementia or a forensic unit. I won't know what setting I want to work in until I have had a feel of them whilst doing placement at them and although at the minute, I feel that I would want to work with either children or within forensics, my choices could completely change.

I also look forward to working on placement which I have already slightly touched on, I am looking forward to learning hands on, to being able to help vulnerable individuals and to having no two days the same. I think that placement will be hard, there will certainly be challenging aspects to it but I think that I am as ready as I will ever be.

Next, I am looking forward to widening my knowledge on Mental Health Conditions, side effects and treatments. I feel that I personally already have quite a good understanding and knowledge of this, but I am looking forward to learning in depth about each condition. I am probably looking forward to the classroom aspect of the degree just as much as I am placement as I know that I am interested in the subject, and I think that there will be very few times where I find myself getting bored.

On the other hand, I am equally looking forward to learning about other aspects of Mental Health that I have very little knowledge on such as drugs, alcohol and forensics. I think that these subjects will be very interesting and will really open my eyes. I think that I will find these topics just as, if not more interesting than the things I already know.

Finally, I look forward to being able to give service users advice and support which may help them to hold on to a bit of hope, no matter what they have gone through. I know that for me, some of the members of staff that I have met throughout the years within services have been the most helpful to my recovery.

Thank-you for reading, Tay x