Monday, 5 March 2018

To Those who Didn't Give Up on Me

I thought that this week, for Mental Health Monday I would talk about the people who didn't give up on me, didn't stop believing in me and continued to support me when they didn't have to. When I had my 'breakdown' back in 2014, the secret of my illness quickly came out and it really gave me a sense of who cared and which relationships were worth keeping as well as the more toxic relationships that I would be happier without. There will be a lot of people who won't ever read this post who have helped and supported me massively within my journey but I am honestly so thankful to all of the people who really didn't give up on me and who went beyond what was expected to support me.

To my family; my mum, my brother, my nanny, auntie, uncle and cousins, thank-you for coming to visit me when I was miles away from home, thank-you for always making me laugh and for brightening up my bad days. Thank-you for never doubting me and for still being there after the hell I sometimes put you through. I appreciate it more than I can explain and I really don't know where I would be without you all.

To my boyfriend for accepting me for who I am, for supporting me throughout my good and bad days and for putting up with my baggage, I love you endlessly and you have helped me in more ways than you could imagine. Thank-you for dragging me out of the house when all I wanted was to stay in bed. Thank-you for taking me on drives and for letting me have time to myself when I need it. You've taught me that I can have happy days and that no matter what life throws at us, we're strong enough to get through it.

To the certain Health Care Assistance's at the unit I was in, thank-you for sitting with me in the corner of my room at 3am, listening to me sob and trying to make everything ok. Thank-you for always making time to have one to ones and for treating me as a person and not just an illness despite being at my worse. Thank-you for washing and plaiting my hair and for doing everything in your power to make me feel better.

To my closest friends, thank-you for always listening and never getting bored. Thank-you for the advice, tears, drunken nights, up-the-wall-chats and love, thank-you for always being trustworthy and for making me feel less alone. You will always be an important aspect of my life and I wouldn't be where I am today (in bed at 5pm) without you.

To the incredible and inspiring people I met whilst in hospital, no matter how many miles away we may be from each other, I know that we'd all be there for each other in a heartbeat. Thank-you for understanding me, for sharing my highs and lows and for making hospital feel more homely. Thank-you for making me laugh and for prompting me to 'misbehave' because lets face it, would we really have survived without the attempted sleepovers, barricades and protests? Probably not.

To the few teachers who actually believed that I was poorly and not just attention seeking for always asking how I am, always welcoming me for a heart to heart and never judging me, thank-you to the one teacher who made me feel normal and let me both laugh and cry about life. Thank-you for encouraging me to work and for also letting me waste lessons doing nothing when I needed them and thank-you for inspiring me, I am also grateful for you and I don't think I would have survived school without you.

To my manager, for not judging me, for laughing and crying with me and for understanding when I need time off work or less shifts. For making work enjoyable and for going above and beyond to make sure we're all happy. I don't think I would be able to hold down a job without you and your kindness. 

Even to my cat, who comes to cuddle me when I'm too sad to get out of bed, despite her being hungry, for giving me responsibility and for motivating me by depending on me, recovery pets are so worth it and I would be lost without mine. 

Thank-you all for being such an important part of my life and for allowing me to feel less alone, your kindness really meant the world and helped me to get where I am today.

Thank-you for reading, Tay x

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