Sunday, 31 December 2017


Hello my loves and welcome back to my page. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and have a Happy New Year, how on Earth is it already the last day of the year? 2017 has been such a difficult year but I am looking forward to turning over a new page and going into a new year, leaving this year as well as all my teenage years behind me.

I have not only achieved a lot, but I have learnt so much throughout this year that has allowed me to mature and grow up very quickly. Although there has been tricky patches throughout this year, I am closer than ever to both my family and my partners family. I have proved myself wrong with being able to tackle harder issues than I have ever had to deal with before and I have learnt that I am stronger than I believed.

Looking back on my resolutions from last year, I have barely achieved any of them but having said that, I have also realised that I was headed for the wrong direction to where I wanted to be in life.

Resolutions for 2017:

Quit Smoking - Believe it or not, I have actually managed to quit smoking but am currently using an e-cig. However, I have managed to cut my nicotine down from 18mg to 3mg so have nearly managed to cut down completely. I have learned though, that someone telling you to quit smoking wont help you quit, it will make you want to do it even more, you have got to want it to be able to succeed. 

Getting my Provisional Licence and starting to learn to drive - This is one that I haven't yet managed due to not changing my medication that would allow me to drive. I haven't actually wanted to learn to drive over the  past year and didn't want to force myself into doing it without being ready. 

Finishing Sixth Form with grades that I am proud of - This is another one that didn't exactly go to plan, I left Sixth Form in early January to focus on my health and haven't yet managed to get back into education but I have learnt that sometimes the best thing you can do is take time out to focus on yourself.

Saving money - I wouldn't say that I have achieved this goal either most likely because I didn't have anything to save up for and decided to use shopping as a way to cheer myself up. I must try harder to save money, will it happen? Who knows.

Continuing my recovery and being able to manage and cope with my illness better - I would say that I have achieved this goal, I have had relapses but that is all part of recovery and I feel that I am able to control and deal with some aspects of my illness better.

What I did achieve during 2017:

I saw Olly Murs Live twice and was able to enjoy it without feeling uncomfortable with my surroundings. 

I didn't have extended sick leave off of work which is so good for me considering I did twice within the first year of my job.

I have grown an even bigger make-up collection and probably have enough make-up to last me the rest of my life due to my impulsive money spending. 

I turned twenty years old which is such an important milestone for me considering how rubbish I have found my teenage years.

Despite DBT not working out, I learnt so many new skills that have come in very useful when trying to avoid self-destructing habits. 

One of the best things I did throughout 2017 was a Skydive to raise money for Mind. It was such an incredible and eye-opening experience and I would love to do it again. I would recommend Skydiving to anyone as it really doesn't compare to anything I have ever experienced before.

Lastly, I have managed to get back into some of my old but favourite hobbies such as sewing and reading which I lost interest in after having difficulty concentrating.

What I hope to achieve throughout 2018:

Start learning to drive - I actually mean this one this year, all of my friends are driving and I just wish I could drive to be more independent and have more freedom. It'd be so useful and i'd be able to see my friends so much more considering that they live all over England. 

Join the gym/get back into exercise - If you know me personally, you're probably laughing at this one as I am currently the most unfit person however, I did used to be very sporty until I was about 16. I miss sports, I miss playing football and jogging and I want to get back into it not only to feel better about my body and shape, but to feel better within myself. Having said that, the gym is such an anxiety provoking task for me as they're always so busy and I hate the thought of people judging me.

Find a new job - Don't get me wrong, I love the job that I currently have and I adore the people but I feel like I am outgrowing the place and would prefer a more 'adult' job with shifts that fit in better with my life. I would love to stay where I am, but other places have better pay for the same or even less work, I don't feel like I will ever move up or get anywhere where I am and I would love a job that is the average weekdays with evenings and weekends off. I know that to some, that can sound impossible, but even if I find a new job with just one of those things, I'd be happy.

Visit Disneyland Paris - This is something that me and my boyfriend have been set on doing for some time, but we had to put a hold on it due to Birthday's and Christmas coming up. I would love to go to Disneyland Paris and am hoping that in 2018, we can make that happen. 

Cut my hair short for charity - Cutting my hair off, is something that I have been planning since summer and that I am definitely going to do, it is just a matter of finding a hairdresser that I trust which is more difficult than it sounds. Saying that, I am excited to cut it all off and even more excited to donate it but I can't help being nervous that I'll hate it.

I hope to get back into education or at least look into it - Education is so important, I just found it impossible to do well within my education whilst also severely struggling with my health. I hope to be able to go back into education with the motivation and mindset to be able to do as well as I am capable of. 

My 2018 Blog Schedule:

I am also going to be trialing a new schedule throughout the beginning months of 2018 as I feel that some of my favourite things to talk about manage to get hidden or pushed aside to make space for other topics. If this schedule works well, I will continue it and if not, I will try to change it up. It's also important to know that I will also be uploading other posts here and there that don't fit into my schedule, I just didn't want to add a ridiculous amount of pressure onto myself.

Monday - Mental Health Related Posts
Wednesday - Book Reviews
Friday - Beauty Product Reviews

That is all from me today, I do hope that you enjoyed. How has your year been? What are your New Years Resolutions? What are your plans for this evening? Have a good one and be safe and sensible.

Thank-you for reading, Tay x

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