Tuesday, 26 September 2017

To the People I Pushed Away

Throughout my life, I have always valued the people around me, especially my friends. I cherish and care so much about my friends and would do almost anything for them. I don’t remember a time when I took my friends for granted which I think probably begun when I was five years old and lost my best friend. One week we were playing round her house, having so much fun, drinking her special ‘medicine milkshakes’ and the next she was gone, just like that. This was one of the first experiences I had of death and unfortunately this was the start of having a close friend or relative pass away ever single year. However, ever since this occasion I decided that I wouldn’t ever take my friends for granted again because you never know when the last time you are going to see them is, which is quite a big thing to decide when you’re just five years old.

As the years went by, people walked into my life, often friends and many of which soon walked back out of my life but it wasn’t until the recent years that I really started to learn who my true friends were as I became ill and being ill really does show who actually do care and who can be bothered. This was quite a hard time for me as I was already in a very dark place and among all of this, I had friends that were ‘getting bored of me being ill’ and that just cut me out of their lives completely. I would spend night after night wondering what on earth I did wrong but eventually it became the normal and as my illness got worse, I became the one who was cutting people out of my life and completely pushing them away. 

I didn’t want to be cared about, I didn’t want to be helped, I was getting sick of people telling me that things will get better and that they don’t know what to do with me. I was sick of making people worried about me and I was convinced that eventually they’ll get bored of me, so I may as well push them away now. I decided that I no longer wanted to be a ‘pity party’ which most likely wasn’t the case but it sure felt like it and I unintentionally removed all of the people that I care about the most out of my life. 

One of the things that I struggled with the most is how somebody who I was so close with, could stop caring over night and this phrase used to haunt me, I just couldn’t work it out. However, surely I was doing exactly the same thing to others who I really cared about? Although I didn’t do it intentionally, but maybe they didn’t either, perhaps they had their own issues going on and was using the exact same coping mechanism of pushing people away that I was. 

I am now almost twenty, I have four close people in my life; one is my boyfriend, one is my mum, one is a friend that I met in hospital and the last is another friend who I only became close with around a year ago. I know that with relationships and friendships, quality is so much better than quantity and I am so incredibly grateful for the people that I do have, but I do miss my old friends, the people who walked out of my life and the people I pushed away and I regret my choices and can only hope that maybe one day I can start over with them. 

So, to those of you that I pushed away, I am so so sorry. I still care and I honestly do regret my decisions but you must understand that I was in a dark place and just wanted to be gone from this world, without hurting the people I loved. Thank you for being my friends and thank you for all you did for me, as I don’t think I have ever properly said it before. I really appreciate all of your efforts to help and support me and I wouldn’t still be here without you. 


All my love, Tay x

Friday, 15 September 2017

Leaving LUSH | Products I am Sad that Have Gone

We have sadly reached that time of the year yet again, that LUSH Cosmetics starts to boot out some older products in order to make room for new. I can't help but think that this year, they're discontinuing all of the best products and the favourites among many people! To make matters even worse, many of this products have either already left or are disappearing off shelves as we speak! Having said that, some stores do have limited stock of some discontinued products so it is definitely worth popping in and having a nose.

Just in case you aren't aware of the products leaving, I shall list all of them below before pouring my heart out and disappearing into mourning over my favourites...

Bath Bombs:
  • Yoga Bomb*
  • Lava Lamp*
  • Frozen*
  • Blackberry*
  • Fizzbanger*
  • Titsy Tosty*
Bubble Bars:
  • Yuzu & Cocoa Bubbleroon*
  • Big Bang*
  • Pink Flamingo
  • Pop In The Bath*
Bath Oils:
  • Razzle Dazzle*
Shower Gels, Creams and Jellies:
  • Yuzu & Cocoa Shower Gel*
  • Beautiful Shower Gel*
  • Don't Rain On My Parade Shower Gel* 
  • Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair Shower Gel*
  • The Comforter Shower Cream*
  • 93,000 Miles Shower Jelly
  • Refresher Shower Jelly
FUN:
  • Sea Monster*
Soap:
  • Layer Cake
  • Miranda
Massage Bars:
  • Dirty*
  • From Dusk 'til Dawn
  • Peace
  • Percup
  • Shades Of Earl Grey
  • Strawberry Feels Forever
  • Yes Yes Yes*
Body:
  • African Paradise Body Conditioner
  • Five O'clock Whistle Shaving Cream
  • Ambrosia Shaving Cream
  • Million Dollar Moisturiser SPF30
  • Rub Rub Rub Solid Scrub*
  • Sugar Solid Scrub*
Hair:
  • The Plumps Solid Conditioner
  • Mr Dandy's Hair Candy Hair Dressing
Everything Else:
  • Atomic Tooth Powder*
  • Bling! Toothy Tabs*
  • Oral Pleasure Toothy Tabs*
  • Ayesha Fresh Face Mask
  • Buttered Brazils Lip Balm
  • Passion Fruit Lip Balm
  • Sunkissed Lip Tint*
  • It Started With A Kiss Lip Tint*
  • Strawberry Bombshell Lip Tint
  • Popcorn Lip Scrub*
  • Veerappan Moustache Wax
In all seriousness, I really can understand some products going and am more than relieved to see them go including Atomic Tooth Powder which if is anything like the toothy tabs; gross and garlic flavoured, Titsy Tosty Bath Bomb which I dislike due to the fact that it has bits in it and by bits I do mean petals, which I am not a fan of drying out and shoving into a bath bomb, The Comforter Shower Cream which smelt so artificial and ridiculously sickly and Don't Rain On My Parade Shower Gel which I didn't exactly dislike, I just found it boring and it didn't stand out to me. However, on the other hand I really don't understand some products leaving such as Bling and Oral Pleasure toothy tabs; probably my two favourites out of all of them, Dirty Massage Bar which smells like a mint chocolate dream and Sunkissed Lip Tint which I thankfully have two on, is super creamy and is a gorgeous nude that actually works with any skin tone.

Yoga Bomb:

Moving on, lets get chatting about my favourite products that are leaving. Starting with one of my all time favourite bath bombs that has unfortunately already left the shelves.. Yoga Bomb! I adore this bomb for so many different reasons, I firstly find it super relaxing and refreshing which is quite unusual for me, because I often tend to stay away from the earthy and citrus scents. This product contains Sandalwood Oil and Citric Acid, giving it a very unique and unusual mix of scents but it works and if you can still find this product floating around somewhere then please pick it up as I don't think you'll be able to find a different bath bomb that leaves you feeling so good. I find this product soft on the skin, it causes absolutely no irritation at all and best of all.. it gives the most incredible performance. The shell is orange and the product starts to fizz away immediately after hitting the water and before long, you're left with gorgeous hues of vibrant blues, greens and purples and the coloured foam actually sticks around instead of all colours fading together. I believe this ballistic most recently cost £4.25 and I am so upset that I never managed to stock up. Why did LUSH remove Yoga Bomb but keep Sex Bomb? I guess we'll never know.

Frozen Bath Bomb:

I was absolutely shocked to see this extremely popular and well loved ballistic on the list of products leaving this summer and I am just as heartbroken as those of you who love this product dearly. This bomb is absolutely beautiful both inside and out and can leave anybody feeling like they're living in a glittery dream. We all know that this product was well and truly inspired by the extremely popular Disney Film; Frozen. This product contains Grapefruit and Neroli Oil and definitely has a distinctive, sweet and floral aroma. This bomb is again, so uplifting and I think is perfect for the winter months. This ballistic doesn't have the strongest scent which some people definitely prefer. This ballistic has quite a detailed design, it is mostly one shade of blue with a rim around the middle of a mixture of a much darker shade as well as hints of white. This product performs even better than I expected, you can tell that it is Disney Inspired and it begins to fizz almost instantly upon hitting the water, clouds of white foam start to pour out of the bomb before shades of blue, leaving a gorgeous ombre styled trail. This bomb leaves such a good colour of the water once it has all dissolved; a gorgeous blue, leaving an icy and mermaid feel with gorgeous glitter water. I am so sad that this product has been discontinued because I really feel like it was a staple product for LUSH and I am sure that it'll be very well missed. Again, this product cost £4.25 and is actually still available in some stores.. so stock up before its too late!



Blackberry Bath Bomb:

Now, I can't say that this ballistic was one of my absolute favourites, but I am still sad to see it go as lets be real, sometimes all you need after a long day is a refreshing purple bath. This product contains Bergamot and Frankincense oils which both contribute in improving anxiety, depression and nervous tension and I can confirm that this ballistic does a wonderful job at calming you down. Priced on the lower end of the scale at £3.50, you can't really go wrong with this product. It has a sweet and earthy yet citrus scent and is definitely quite strong. The bath bomb has a very simplistic design and equally has a fairly simple performance in the water. It quite literally fizzes away into a lilac purple ocean; you quite literally will be bathing in what seems like a tub of blackberry juice! I am sad to see this product go as I feel like it has been around forever and has even gone through a makeover and new design. I love the shade that it leaves the water as I often feel like there isn't much worse than having a product that has a good performance but then leaves your water looking grey and murky. Why is Blackberry Bomb leaving but Avobath staying? I guess that it has outlived its time but I really hope that we get a similar product in the future that has a bit of a better performance.


Lava Lamp Bath Bomb:

Moving on to a fairly new product to be leaving.. Lava Lamp. to be entirely honest, I have only used this product a couple of times and I love the concept; that it is meant to look and move in the water just like a lava lamp does. The design of this ballistic is impressive with its vibrant orange shell and three dark purple circles made from cocoa butter. When entering the water, this product fizzes away and starts to create waves of different shades of oranges. When enough of the product has dissolved, the three purple circles of cocoa butter separates from the bomb and kind of melts into the water, sitting on the surface and breaking down into smaller pieces that fall off from each other and reconnect; just like a lava lamp does. I love the idea and concept of this product but I don't particularly love the fact that even though there are only three purple circles, they still manage to stain the tub and using this bomb comes with a lot of patients and effort to clean it. I don't think this product has the best performance but it is definitely more out there, different and unique. This product is still available in some stores but stock is limited and retails for £4.25. This product definitely holds an extremely bright and fruity scent containing Orange Flower Absolute, Tangerine and Mandarin Oils. The aroma is very heavy and when purchasing this product, I could smell it despite it being wrapped up in a bag. I think that this product is very refreshing and uplifting, it is just a shame about the clean up process that you're signing up to within the price tag.


Fizzbanger Bath Bomb:

Saving one of the best bath bombs to last, lets talk about Fizzbanger and how on Earth did LUSH decided that it was being discontinued? I think of this product as a hidden gem, its outer shell can seem rather boring and off putting as it is a very bright, vibrant yellow. However, this product has such a gorgeous performance and is so satisfying to watch. This product was originally inspired by Roald Dahl's BFG. This product contains Cinnamon Leaf Oil, Petitgrain Oil, Ylang Ylang Oil and Gardenia but although it contains all of these scents, I feel that it does have a strong aroma of lemon mixed with a hint of cinnamon but it surprisingly isn't overpowering at all and instead is very refreshing. When popped into the water, the ballistic starts fizzing but rather slowly (but this can depend on the temperature of the water). You can almost instantly hear the popping candy element and bright yellow foam starts to burst out of the product. Before long, you are pleasantly surprised with a gorgeous baby blue shade that streams out of the center of the product creating gorgeous waves of both yellow, blue and then green foam. This product definitely has a great performance and if you can still get your hands on it, then I would highly recommend giving it a go. The foam is very thick and leaves your skin feeling soft and silky. This product cost £3.95, leaving it on the slightly lower price range for a bath bomb.

Yuzu & Cocoa Bubbleroon:

My jaw dropped when I realised that this product was on the discontinued list, I adore this bubble bar so much. This product is shaped like a yellow macaroon and has the same scent as the beloved Yuzu & Cocoa Shower Gel. The product has a chocolate orange scent which I am convinced just smells like Jaffa Cakes and contains Avocado Butter, Cocoa Butter, Bananas, Shea Butter, Bergamot Oil and Grapefruit Oil which is essentially, all of my favourite things put into a bath product. I must say that this product definitely has a more subtle scent than the shower gel does but is still very sweet and warming. I find that this product is much softer than other bubble bars that I have tried but this makes it super easy to break off and dissolve into bubbles under the tap. I find that this product produces so many soft and creamy bubbles and is an asset to my baths. I find that although this product does add a yellow hue to the bath, it doesn't leave a bold colour which is good as there is nothing I hate more than a Bubble Bar shade affecting the overall bath water colour from a bath bomb. I believe that this product retailed for around £3.65 and I have luckily manged to stock up on a few.

Yuzu & Cocoa Shower Cream:

Of course, this product is from the same scent family as the Bubbleroon and this was actually one of the first shower creams I tried from LUSH. It contains almost all of the same scented ingredients as the Bubbleroon as well as also including Yuzu Infusion which correct me if i'm wrong, but I could find on any of the ingredient lists for the bubbleroon. Like I previously said, this product has a much stronger scent and is bright yellow. The consistency is thick but not too thick and definitely feels softer and creamier than the shower gels. I find that this product is so uplifting thanks to its strong aroma and bright colour and lathers up wonderfully. The scent definitely does stick around on the skin for hours. I find that this product leaves my skin feeling refreshed and hydrated and due to the scent being slightly sickly, I feel that it is a real hit or miss product throughout the LUSH community. I have just ran out of my 250g bottle but luckily am left with an 100g bottle which I am sure will be used very sparingly from now on. According to the LUSH website, this product is £9.95 for 250g and is actually still on the UK website, so grab it before its too late!

Beautiful Shower Gel:

Finally, the last product that I am sad to see go is of course Beautiful Shower Gel. I am still asking myself why this product has to leave because it really is like no other. This product is a bright orange shade and is full to the brim of glitter which may just be why I like it so much. Containing Apricot Infusion, Peach Juice, Osmanthus Absolute, Gardenia Extract and Gold Glimmer Lustre this product really is a fruity, citrusy dream. You can definitely, obviously smell the Apricot and Peach within this product by just opening the lid of the bottle and to be honest, when smelling this product from the bottle, it does smell extremely rich and actually makes me feel slightly sick but the strength of this scent does become much more subtle when using it in the bath or shower. I think that this product also lathers up brilliantly and does leave your body feeling smooth and soft, but admittedly, not as soft as the shower creams tend to. This product is very uplifting and can improve your mood drastically with its scents. With shower gels that contain glitter, the glitter tends to fall to the bottom of the bottle (like with Snow Fairy) but this really isn't the case with this product. Like Yuzu & Cocoa, I have recently ran out of my 250g bottle and am left with an 100g bottle which again, I will be very careful with. I am unsure of what the price was for this product but the most recent price that I could find was £9.50 for 250g.

That concludes my list of products that I am still sad to see go. However, LUSH have recently launched a whole new range of Naked Shower Gels.. yes, you heard correctly.. naked as well as Jelly Bombs which again, sound interesting. I can't say that I am excited for these products but I will certainly give them a go. On the other hand, they have also released both their Halloween and Christmas range on the website which honestly looks better than the recent years and I am so excited to restock on Lord Of Misrule Shower Cream and Shoot For The Stars Bath Bomb. Do you disagree with any of the products that I am sad to see go?


Thank-you for reading, Tay x

* = Products I have tried.
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